Date Night for Lois and Clark
by dupidnavagog
Summary: Having a baby will change anyone's life - including a superhero's. Who do you trust to babysit your tiny bundle of joy - Justice League-style? And, can a story survive on 95% dialogue? Please give me your opinion on my little experiment.


I own nothing. These characters belong to DC or Warner Brothers, or Cartoon Network - I don't know exactly whom - but they definitely don't belong to me.   
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Watchtower Pizza, can I take your order?"  
  
"Very funny, Flash - how are things going up there?"  
  
"Hey Supe - it's a slow night. How about you? How's the baby and Lois?"  
  
"Good, good. Actually, I wanted to ask you a favor."  
  
"Go."  
  
"Well, Lois and I need to go out, you know, have some couple time. She's getting a little stir-crazy on maternity leave, taking care of the baby. Do you think um, do you think you guys can keep an eye on Kevin? Just for a few hours?"  
  
"Huh. You're asking if six superheroes can take care of your baby for a few hours. I think that's a yes."  
  
"Oh great! You don't know how much this means to us. I'll be right over with him."  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Whoa, why is the baby bag like, ten times bigger than the baby?"  
  
"Well, we're a little cautious. I don't think you'll need all this stuff." Smiles. "There's twenty diapers, a full pack of wipes, five changes of clothes in case of, um, accidents, some rice cereal, Cheerios, some rattles and baby toys, and oh, here's the breast milk."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"Breast milk. Lois pumped it this morning. You just have to heat it in a warm water bath, and test it on the inside of your wrist to make sure it's not too hot. Do NOT use the microwave."  
  
"Pumped."  
  
"Never mind. I'll keep the line open, so you can call us if anything comes up."  
  
"Um, how does the pump -"  
  
"Geez Flash, get over it. Really, call us if anything happens. I owe you one, buddy." Flies away.  
  
"Bye. Um, Batman, how does the pump -"  
  
"I'm not listening, Flash."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Oh God, what IS that smell? Flash, you're not eating franks and beans again."  
  
"Ha ha, Hawkgirl. No, it's Baby Supe. Raunchy, isn't it?"  
  
"Well aren't you going to change him?"  
  
"I was thinking to give it a minute to cool down, you know. Or maybe he just farted. Can you do me a favor, and take a peek - "  
  
"Not in a million years! You got yourself into this, YOU take a peek!"  
  
"Oh God," gagging "oh yeah, I need to let it cool off. You think GL could change him using his ring?"  
  
"I think he'd rather let you have a shot at the poo-poo diaper first."  
  
Groan.  
  
"Hey Diana, are you feeling the least bit maternal, or even charitable to your buddy Flash?"  
  
"Hello? Island of women? What do I know about diapering baby boys?"  
  
Another groan.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"C'mon Kev - your diaper's clean, your tummy's full, J'onn played peek-a- boo with you for, like, ever - please, PLEASE go to sleep?"  
  
"Try the football hold. Here's a picture of it."  
  
"Thanks, Bats. Where'd you get this info, anyway?"  
  
"Dr. Sears website. I thought I'd do my part." Smirks.  
  
"It's not working!"  
  
"Then try the kangaroo cuddle." Flash giggles. "I didn't name it! Do you want my help, of not?"  
  
"That's not working, either." Kevin wails.  
  
"Try rocking." Kevin quiets down, then farts loudly, starting another bout of crying.  
  
"Says here he might be overtired."  
  
"'Overtired'? Then he should be asleep! I'm never having kids, Bats, I swear." Batman smirks.  
  
"Try more rocking. If you're calm, maybe that will help Kevin relax, too." Kevin's cries turn to whimpers.  
  
"Bats, please, PLEASE. My arms are killing me. I want to eat. I need to whizz. Can you take him - just for a moment?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please?? You said, 'if you ever need help, and you will' - well I need help right now! C'mon?"  
  
Sigh. "OK, give him to me."  
  
Kevin whimpers during the transition, then settles in while Batman continues working at the computer. Kevin's eyes slowly close, and he starts sucking on the edge of Batman's cape. In a few moments, his arms are hanging limply over Batman's gloved forearm, mouth open and snoring.  
  
Batman smirks. 


End file.
